Then someone new comes into your life. It could be a new person at work, someone you meet when you’re traveling, or some random situation, but you feel something you shouldn’t feel because you’re already in love.

 

It starts with simply talking, but as this person is speaking to you, something inside of you is going wild. It’s instant electricity in a way that should be reserved for the person you love. You interact with this person on a consistent basis and find yourself falling hard. It’s very confusing.

 

You may or may not cross that line in infidelity. Or, depending on how you look at it, you’ve already crossed it. When you sit down and get honest with yourself, you admit that you are in love with two people. It shouldn’t happen, and you can’t even understand how it did, but facts are facts. You love two people and don’t know what to do.

 

You’re probably wondering what makes me qualified to write this. There has been one maybe two times in my life when I’ve been in love with two women. The one that stands out is my first and second loves. I couldn’t be with my first love, so I fell for someone else. After having established a healthy relationship, my first love came back into my life and wanted a relationship. So let me tell you what helped me in that situation.

 

 

For starters, it means you’re human. No, falling in love with two people at the same time is not common. But, it does happen, and it is possible. Love starts a feeling a strong feeling. You may have that feeling for someone and then unexpectedly feel it for someone else. There are many beautiful and mesmerizing people in the world.

 

The feeling, in and of itself, isn’t bad or dangerous but the actions you take can be. Maybe you have feelings that you just need to get over. Maybe you need to remove yourself from being in contact with that person. I can’t speak for your specific situation. I only know that love starts as a feeling, but at some point, it turns into a decision.

 

When you decide to choose the one you know you’re supposed to be with, or choose not to act on those feelings; you’re choosing love. When you choose to cut ties and go out of your way not to betray the person you committed to, you’re choosing love.

 

 

This can be tricky because it requires you to get over any lust. The reason you may be in love with two people is because you’re missing something in your current relationship. It might be something sexual, something mental, or something emotional, but somewhere, there is a void that this second person fills.

 

Choosing means you get honest about what you want out of life and how a partner will fit into those plans. This second person might be a better fit for where you’re going in life it all depends on what you are truly looking for.

 

I can’t give you some cookie-cutter answer that’s going to solve the problem right after you get done reading this. You have to make a decision, and you have to do it from a place of clarity. Sex, lust, or the heat of the moment can push you into a decision you’re not ready for. Take some time to get honest about who is the person that fulfills what you are looking for in a partner. Make your decision with a clear mind and honest heart.

 

Most guys reading this probably won’t end up in love with two people. If you do, the best advice I can give you is to get real with yourself. Our first goal, as people, is to be the best version of our selves. This means being strong physically, mentally, and emotionally. That strength is what helps you make decisions that best benefit your life. I hope it works out for you, but if it doesn’t, learn from the situation and come into your next relationship even stronger.

 

-askmen