It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens.
~Cynthia E. Varnado
In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat.
If cats could talk, they wouldn't.
There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
A catless writer is almost inconceivable. It's a perverse taste, really, since it would be easier to write with a herd of buffalo in the room than even one cat; they make nests in the notes and bite the end of the pen and walk on the typewriter keys.
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
~Joseph Wood Krutch
The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
There is something about the presence of a cat... that seems to take the bite out of being alone.
~Louis J. Camuti
As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.
~Ellen Perry Berkeley
The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.
Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience.
After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.
A cat can be trusted to purr when she is pleased, which is more than can be said for human beings.
~William Ralph Inge
The reason cats climb is so that they can look down on almost every other animal - it's also the reason they hate birds.
A cat is an example of sophistication minus civilization.
There has never been a cat
Who couldn't calm me down
By walking slowly
Past my chair.
Your cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won't attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling.
Cats do care. For example they know instinctively what time we have to be at work in the morning and they wake us up twenty minutes before the alarm goes off.
When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not a pastime to her more than she is to me?
~Michel de Montaigne, Essays, 1580
Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about six days, take a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives.
I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days.
If there is one spot of sun spilling onto the floor, a cat will find it and soak it up.
No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch.
It doesn't do to be sentimental about cats; the best ones don't respect you for it.
A dog, I have always said, is prose; a cat is a poem.
The cat is the only animal without visible means of support who still manages to find a living in the city.
~Carl van Vechten
There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat.
If the pull of the outside world is strong, there is also a pull towards the human. The cat may disappear on its own errands, but sooner or later, it returns once again for a little while, to greet us with its own type of love.
One is never sure, watching two cats washing each other, whether it's affection, the taste, or a trial run for the jugular.
I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through.
A cat pours his body on the floor like water.
~William Lyon Phelps
There is no more intrepid explorer than a kitten.
A cat improves the garden wall in sunshine, and the hearth in foul weather.
~Judith Merkle Riley
A cat's got her own opinion of human beings. She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it.
~Jerome K. Jerome
I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat.
~Edgar Allan Poe
The cat seldom interferes with other people's rights. His intelligence keeps him from doing many of the fool things that complicate life.
~Carl Van Vechten
Cats come and go without ever leaving.
Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
~Joseph Wood Krutch
You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.
The ideal of calm exists in a sitting cat.
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
The cat is the only animal which accepts the comforts but rejects the bondage of domesticity.
~Georges Louis Leclerc de Buffon
The city of cats and the city of men exist one inside the other, but they are not the same city.
If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.
My cat speaks sign language with her tail.
~Robert A. Stern
Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons.
The cat is domestic only as far as suits its own ends.
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
Most cats, when they are Out want to be In, and vice versa, and often simultaneously.
~Louis J. Camuti
Kittens believe that all nature is occupied with their diversion.
~F.A. Paradis de Moncrif
What greater gift than the love of a cat?
Before a cat will condescendTo treat you as a trusted friend,Some little token of esteemIs needed, like a dish of cream.
People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.
Most of us rather like our cats to have a streak of wickedness. I should not feel quite easy in the company of any cat that walked about the house with a saintly expression.
Kittens are angels with whiskers.
Even if you have just destroyed a Ming Vase, purr. Usually all will be forgiven.
You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
Purring would seem to be, in her case, an automatic safety valve device for dealing with happiness overflow.
It is in the nature of cats to do a certain amount of unescorted roaming.
A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope.
Cats have intercepted my footsteps at the ankle for so long that my gait, both at home and on tour, has been compared to that of a man wading through low surf.
~Roy Blount, Jr.
Like a graceful vase, a cat, even when motionless, seems to flow.
~George F. Will
You own a dog but you feed a cat.
~Jenny de Vries
Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner.
Sometimes he curls up on my pillow during the night and I don't know he's there until I yawn and my mouth closes on a whisker.
A cat isn't fussy - just so long as you remember he likes his milk in the shallow, rose-patterned saucer and his fish on the blue plate. From which he will take it, and eat it off the floor.
Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk.
~Henry David Thoreau
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
Kittens can happen to anyone.
It is impossible for a lover of cats to banish these alert, gentle, and discriminating little friends, who give us just enough of their regard and complaisance to make us hunger for more.
No heaven will not ever Heaven beUnless my cats are there to welcome me.
The cat is the animal to whom the Creator gave the biggest eye, the softest fur, the most supremely delicate nostrils, a mobile ear, an unrivaled paw and a curved claw borrowed from the rose-tree.
A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it.
Cats conspire to keep us at arm's length.
I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person.
Although all cat games have their rules and rituals, these vary with the individual player. The cat, of course, never breaks a rule. If it does not follow precedent, that simply means it has created a new rule and it is up to you to learn it quickly if you want the game to continue.
People who love cats have some of the biggest hearts around.
Prowling his own quiet backyard or asleep by the fire, he is still only a whisker away from the wilds.
The trouble with a kitten is thatEventually it becomes a cat.
Cats can be cooperative when something feels good, which, to a cat, is the way everything is supposed to feel as much of the time as possible.
The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that can be learned in no other way.
When you're used to hearing purring and suddenly it's gone, it's hard to silence the blaring sound of sadness.
Any conditioned cat-hater can be won over by any cat who chooses to make the effort.
Keep an eye on the cat and another on the frying pan.
Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance.
Psychologists now recognize that the need in some people to have a dozen cats is really a sublimated desire to have two dozen cats.
~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
It always gives me a shiver when I see a cat seeing what I can't see.
Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them.
Cats speak a subtle language in which few sounds carry many meanings, depending on how they are sung or purred. "Mnrhnh" means comfortable soft chairs. It also means fish. It means genial companionship... and the absence of dogs.
People that don't like cats haven't met the right one yet.
~Deborah A. Edwards
Another cat? Perhaps. For love there is also a season; its seeds must be resown. But a family cat is not replaceable like a wornout coat or a set of tires. Each new kitten becomes its own cat, and none is repeated. I am four cats old, measuring out my life in friends that have succeeded but not replaced one another.
I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will find themselves happier with a dog.
You cannot look at a sleeping cat and feel tense.
If by chance I seated myself to write, she very slyly, very tenderly, seeking protection and caresses, would softly take her place on my knee and follow the comings and goings of my pen -sometimes effacing, with an unintentional stroke of her paw, lines of whose tenor she disapproved.
You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.
If he is comic, it is only because of the incongruity of so demure a look and so wild a heart.
To err is human, to purr is feline.
Cat lovers can readily be identified. Their clothes always look old and well used. Their sheets look like bath towels and their bath towels look like a collection of knitting mistakes.
The cat loves fish, but she's loath to wet her feet.
Do you see that kitten chasing so prettily her own tail? If you could look with her eyes, you might see her surrounded with hundreds of figures performing complex dramas, with tragic and comic issues, long conversations, many characters, many ups and downs of fate.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don't think it is so much the actual bath that most cats dislike; I think it's the fact that they have to spend a good part of the day putting their hair back in place.
The way to keep a cat is to try to chase it away.
Those who play with cats must expect to be scratched.
To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction - and a cat. The last ingredient is usually hardest to come by.
Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because of all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll on a dead fish.
Cats as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by that fact that in Ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods.
Some people say man is the most dangerous animal on the planet. Obviously those people have never met an angry cat.
Time spent with cats is never wasted.
A cat is a lion in a jungle of small bushes.
People meeting for the first time suddenly relax if they find they both have cats. And plunge into anecdote.
Any household with at least one feline member has no need for an alarm clock.
~Louise A. Belcher
Who would believe such pleasure from a wee ball o' fur?
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
One must love a cat on its own terms.
The sun rose slowly, like a fiery furball coughed up uneasily onto a sky-blue carpet by a giant unseen cat.
A kitten is the most irresistible comedian in the world. Its wide-open eyes gleam with wonder and mirth. It darts madly at nothing at all, and then, as though suddenly checked in the pursuit, prances sideways on its hind legs with ridiculous agility and zeal.
Dogs eat. Cats dine.
She clawed her way into my heart and wouldn't let go.
Of all the toys available, none is better designed than the owner himself. A large multipurpose plaything, its parts can be made to move in almost any direction. It comes completely assembled, and it makes a sound when you jump on it.
No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
I enjoy many silent moments with my cat, a conversation always resumed exactly where left off.
~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
The dog may be wonderful prose, but only the cat is poetry.
The cat has always been associated with the moon. Like the moon it comes to life at night, escaping from humanity and wandering over housetops with its eyes beaming out through the darkness.
Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.
Cats never strike a pose that isn't photogenic.
~Lillian Jackson Braun
Who hath a better friend than a cat?
Nobody who is not prepared to spoil cats will get from them the reward they are able to give to those who do spoil them.
A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution.
Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly.
When a cat chooses to be friendly, it's a big deal, because a cat is picky.
He liked companionship, but he wouldn't be petted, or fussed over, or sit in anyone's lap a moment; he always extricated himself from such familiarity with dignity and with no show of temper. If there was any petting to be done, however, he chose to do it. Often he would sit looking at me, and then, moved by a delicate affection, come and pull at my coat and sleeve until he could touch my face with his nose, and then go away contented.
~Charles Dudley Warner
Even overweight, cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses.
In the middle of a world that had always been a bit mad, the cat walks with confidence.
Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.
The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself. Of course he wants care and shelter. You don't buy love for nothing. Like all pure creatures, cats are practical.
~William S. Burroughs
One cat just leads to another.
Women, poets, and especially artists, like cats; delicate natures only can realize their sensitive systems.
~Helen M. Winslow
Most beds sleep up to six cats. Ten cats without the owner.
A cat is a tiger that is fed by hand.
I put down my book, The Meaning of Zen, and see the cat smiling into her fur as she delicately combs it with her rough pink tongue. "Cat, I would lend you this book to study but it appears you have already read it." She looks up and gives me her full gaze. "Don't be ridiculous," she purrs, "I wrote it."
~Dilys Laing, "Miao"
Who among us hasn't envied a cat's ability to ignore the cares of daily life and to relax completely?
Cats only pretend to be domesticated if they think there's a bowl of milk in it for them.
Every dog has his day - but the nights are reserved for the cats.
A kitten is so flexible that she is almost double; the hind parts are equivalent to another kitten with which the forepart plays. She does not discover that her tail belongs to her until you tread on it.
~Henry David Thoreau
Your cat may never have to hunt farther than the kitchen counter for its supper nor face a predator more fierce than the vacuum cleaner.
~Barbara L. Diamond
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
A meow massages the heart.
The domestic cat seems to have greater confidence in itself than in anyone else.
~Lawrence N. Johnson
If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.
~Alfred North Whitehead
Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have. Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal, and lazy. It's easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess so many of the same qualities as some people (expensive girlfriends, for instance) that it's often hard to tell the people and the cats apart.
~P.J. O'Rourke, Modern Manners
It's really the cat's house - we just pay the mortgage.
Cats are notoriously sore losers. Coming in second best, especially to someone as poorly coordinated as a human being, grates their sensibility.
Does the father figure in your cat's life ever clean the litter box? My husband claims that men lack the scooping gene.
~Barbara L. Diamond
Some people have cats and go on to lead normal lives.
Cats have an infallible understanding of total concentration - and get between you and it.
Four little Persians, but only one looked in my direction. I extended a tentative finger and two soft paws clung to it. There was a contented sound of purring, I suspect on both our parts.
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted, but his or her entertainment value.
It is remarkable, in cats, that the outer life they reveal to their masters is one of perpetual boredom.
~Robley Wilson, Jr.
The smart cat doesn't let on that he is.
If I called her she would pretend not to hear, but would come a few moments later when it could appear that she had thought of doing so first.
I am as vigilant as a cat to steal cream.
~William Shakespeare, Henry IV
If we treated everyone we meet with the same affection we bestow upon our favorite cat, they, too, would purr.
The cat was created when the lion sneezed.
The cat is above all things, a dramatist.
Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything.
An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five year old.
~Carl Van Vechten
Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all things were created to serve man.
If the claws didn't retract, cats would be like Velcro.
A cat determined not to be found can fold itself up like a pocket handkerchief if it wants to.
~Louis J. Camuti
Most cats do not approach humans recklessly. The possibility of concealed weapons, clods or sticks, tend to make them reserved. Homeless cats in particular - with some justification, unfortunately - consider humans their natural enemies. Much ceremony must be observed, and a number of diplomatic feelers put out, before establishing a state of truce.
God made the cat in order that man might have the pleasure of caressing the lion.
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
If only cats grew into kittens.
If there were to be a universal sound depicting peace, I would surely vote for the purr.
~Barbara L. Diamond