Cows are amongst the gentlest of breathing creatures; none show more passionate tenderness to their young when deprived of them; and, in short, I am not ashamed to profess a deep love for these quiet creatures.
~Thomas de Quincey

All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.
~Grant Wood

As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists.
~Joan Gussow

A cow is a very good animal in the field, but we turn her out of a garden.
~Samuel Johnson

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.

~Ogden Nash

When a cow laughs, does milk come out her nose?
~Author Unknown

I guess cows aren't into the four food groups, especially when they are two of them.
~Anthony Clark

All is not butter that comes from the cow.
~Proverb

Opie, you haven't finished your milk. We can't put it back in the cow, you know.
~From The Andy Griffith Show

Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.
~Fred Allen

The friendly cow, all red and white,
I love with all my heart:
She gives me cream with all her might,
To eat with apple-tart.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.
~Dave Barry

Parties who want milk should not seat themselves on a stool in the middle of the field in hopes that the cow will back up to them.
~Elbert Hubbard

A mind of the caliber of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows.
~George Bernard Shaw

The cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat.
~John McNulty

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
~Proverb

Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.
~Mark Twain

Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said, "I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them?"
~Bill Watterson

Milk the cow, but do not pull off the udder.
~Greek Proverb

If happiness truly consisted in physical ease and freedom from care, then the happiest individual would not be either a man or a woman; it would be, I think, an American cow.
~William Lyon Phelps

Whoever needs milk, bows to the animal.
~Yiddish Saying

The human body has no more need for cows' milk than it does for dogs' milk, horses' milk, or giraffes' milk.
~Michael Klaper

Tongue - a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of a dead cow.
~Bob Ekstrom

I'd rather kiss a mad cow on the muzzle than a smoker on the mouth.
~Paul Carvel

I go about looking at horses and cattle. They eat grass, make love, work when they have to, bear their young. I am sick with envy of them.
~Sherwood Anderson

There's nothing like sitting back and talking to your cows.
~Russell Crowe

There's something about getting up at 5 a.m., feeding the stock and chickens, and milking a couple of cows before breakfast that gives you a lifelong respect for the price of butter and eggs.
~Bill Vaughan

I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys on giving milk.
~Henry Louis Mencken

Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.
~Ambrose Bierce

He who lets the goat be laid on his shoulders is soon after forced to carry the cow.
~Italian Proverb

Greatness alone in not enough, or the cow would outrun the hare.
~Proverb

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
~Dennis Wholey

The mere brute pleasure of reading - the sort of pleasure a cow must have in grazing.
~Lord Chesterfield