The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
~Chi Chi Rodriguez
A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.
Retired is being twice tired, I've thoughtFirst tired of working,Then tired of not.
I've been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They're called naps.
Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.
I'm retired - goodbye tension, hello pension!
Retirement itself is the best gift. No gold watch could ever top it.
Retirement: World's longest coffee break.
Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me. I never had the time before to notice the beauty of my grandkids, my wife, the tree outside my very own front door. And, the beauty of time itself.
O, blest retirement! friend to life's decline -How blest is he who crowns, in shades like these,A youth of labor with an age of ease!
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
Life begins at retirement.
The challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money.
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.
Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.
When you retire, think and act as if you were still working; when you're still working, think and act a bit as if you were already retired.
The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.
I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.
Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to.
~Harry Emerson Fosdick
I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
~Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949
When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.
The money's no better in retirement but the hours are!
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.
There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
Retirement without the love of letters is a living burial.
Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can't retire his experience. He must use it.
A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.
Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.
~Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne
Retire from work, but not from life.
Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.
~Douglas Pagels, These Are the Gifts I'd Like to Give to You
There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them.
~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.
In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day.
Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
I try to treat each evening and weekend as little slices of retirement because no one is guaranteed a lengthy one at the end of their career.
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.
In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It's either that or buy a new golf ball.
Sometimes it's hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment.
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up.
Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.
Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."