Bachelors Defined:

1. One Who Never Makes The Same Mistake Once.

2. One Who’s Footloose And Fiance Free.

3. One Who Never Mrs. A Girl.

4. One Who Avoids Bride-Eyed Women.

5. One Who Believes In Life, Liberty And The Happiness Of Pursuit.

6. One Who Believes In Wine, Women And So-Long.

7. One Who Believes That One Can Live As Cheaply As Two.

8. One Who Can Forget His Mistakes.

9. One Who Can Get Into Bed From Either Side.

10. One Who Can Go Fishing Anytime, Until He Gets Hooked.

11. One Who Can Have A Girl On His Knee Without Having Her On His Hands.

12. One Who Can Leave His Socks And Wallet Lying Around The House.

13. One Who Can Tell His Symptoms To His Doctor Without Having His
Wife Interrupt.

14. One Who Can’t Be Spouse-Broken.

15. One Who Can’t Stand The Strain Of A Wife.

16. One Who Cheated Some Woman Out Of A Divorce.

17. One Who Doesn’t Have To Leave The Party When He Starts Having A
Good Time.

18. One Who Failed To Embrace His Opportunities.

19. One Who Is A Free Male.

20. One Who Is Allergic To Wedding Cakes.

21. One Who Is Foot-Loose And Family-Free.

22. One Who Is Known As A Dame Dropper.

23. One Who Is Not Missing Anything In Life Except A Few Buttons On
His Shirt.

24. One Who Knows All The Ankles.

25. One Who Knows How To Hold A Woman’s Hand So That She Doesn’t Get
A Grip On Him.

26. One Who Knows If He Has A Steady Girl On The String He May Wind
Up On A Leash.

27. One Who Knows More About Women Than Men. That’s Why He Is A
Bachelor.

28. One Who Leans Toward A Woman But Not Far Enough To Fall.

29. One Who Likes His Girl Friend Just The Way She Is...Single!!!!

30. One Who Looks, But Does Not Leap.

31. One Who Never Chases A Woman He Couldn’t Outrun.

32. One Who Never Knows Whom The Next Kiss Is Coming From.

33. One Who Never Makes The Same Mistake Once.

34. One Who Never Met A Girl He Couldn’t Live Without.

35. One Who Never Mrs. Anything.

36. One Who Never Says, "I’ll Give You A Ring Tomorrow!"

37. One Who Plays The Game Of Love And Manages To Retain His Amateur
Outstanding.

38. One Who Prefers Ripe Tomatoes With Little Dressing.

39. One Who Thinks He Is A Thing Of Beauty And A Boy Forever.

40. One Who Travels Fastest In A Parked Car.

41. One Who Tries To Avoid The Issue.

42. One Who Usually Has His Hands Full Trying To Loosen A Woman’s
Grip.

43. One Who Wakes Up In The Morning With All Of The Blankets.

44. One Who Washes Only One Set Of Dishes.

45. One Who When A Girl Asks Him For A Diamond Ring, He Turns
Stone-Deaf.

46. One Who When He Opens The Window In His Apartment, More Dust
Blows Out Than In.

47. One Who Would Rather Mend His Socks Than His Ways.

48. One Who Won’t Take `Yes’ For An Answer.

49. One Who Would Rather Change Girls Than Change Their Names.

50. One Who Would Rather Cook His Own Goose.

51. One Who Would Rather Have A Woman On His Mind Than On His Neck.

52. He has a good head on his shoulders...a different one each
night.

53. It’s hard for a girl to say no to him. He keeps holding her for
further questioning.

54. He’s a guy with no wife expectancy