Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.
~Ernestine Ulmer

I doubt whether the world holds for anyone a more soul-stirring surprise than the first adventure with ice cream.
~Heywood Broun

Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate.
~Sandra Boynton

I want to have a good body, but not as much as I want dessert.
~Jason Love

Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos.
~Don Kardong

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!
~Author Unknown

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who love chocolate, and communists.
~Leslie Moak Murray

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.
~Jim Davis

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
~Carl Sagan

Ice cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn't illegal.
~Voltaire

Always serve too much hot fudge sauce on hot fudge sundaes. It makes people overjoyed, and puts them in your debt.
~Judith Olney

A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.
~E.W. Howe

Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate!
~Attributed to Sandra J. Dykes

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.
~Judith Viorst

Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.
~Fernando Pessoa

I prefer to regard a dessert as I would imagine the perfect woman: subtle, a little bittersweet, not blowsy and extrovert. Delicately made up, not highly rouged. Holding back, not exposing everything and, of course, with a flavor that lasts.
~Graham Kerr

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.
~Jim Fiebig

Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty.
~Lora Brody

Cookies are made of butter and love.
~Norwegian Proverb

There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles.
~Author Unknown

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.
~Erma Bombeck

Self-discipline implies some unpleasant things to me, including staying away from chocolate and keeping my hands out of women's pants.
~Oleg Kiselev

I don't drown my sorrows; I suffocate them with chocolate.
~Author Unknown

Ice cream is happiness condensed.
~Jessi Lane Adams

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
~Author Unknown

Chocolate is like medicine - but as with medicine, the key is the proper dose. Don't overdo it.
~Edward "Grandpa" Jones

If there's no chocolate in heaven, I'm not going.
~Author Unknown

'Twill make old women young and fresh,
Create new motions of the flesh.
And cause them long for you know what,
If they but taste of chocolate.

~James Wadworth

Fruit only angers my need for chocolate.
~Jason Love

After eating chocolate you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers.
~Emily Luchetti

If your sweet tooth says candy - your wisdom tooth says Cerreta.
~Slogan of the Cerreta Candy Company in Glendale, Arizona (cerreta.com)

Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is.
~Author Unknown

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate. That's my philosophy.
~Thornton Wilder

There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.
~Linda Grayson, "The Pickwick Papers"

Man cannot live on chocolate alone, but woman sure can.
~Author Unknown

I don't think a really good pie can be made without a dozen or so children peeking over your shoulder as you stoop to look in at it every little while.
~John Gould

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.
~Author Unknown

Never trust a skinny ice cream man.
~Ben Cohen

I'd give up chocolate, but I'm no quitter!
~Author Unknown

Happiness is life served up with a scoop of acceptance, a topping of tolerance and sprinkles of hope, although chocolate sprinkles also work.
~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
~Author Unknown

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
~Jo Brand

But I, when I undress me
Each night, upon my knees
Will ask the Lord to bless me
With apple-pie and cheese.

~Eugene Field

Pie...it fills the cracks of the heart. Go away, pain.
~Kevin James, Mall Cop

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
~Author Unknown

The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!
~Terry Moore

I'll obey them in the winter when the doctors say to me
I must give up ham and spinach, and obedient I'll be.
To relieve my indigestion in December they can try,
But there's none of them can stop me when it's time for cherry pie.

~Edgar A. Guest, The Milwaukee Journal, 1935 May 29

There's no diet list I'll follow that would rule out cherry pie.
~Edgar A. Guest, The Milwaukee Journal, 1935 May 29

Ice cream cravings are not to be taken lightly.
~Betsy Cañas Garmon, www.wildthymecreative.com

If any man has drunk a little too deeply from the cup of physical pleasure; if he has spent too much time at his desk that should have been spent asleep; if his fine spirits have become temporarily dulled; if he finds the air too damp, the minutes too slow, and the atmosphere too heavy to withstand; if he is obsessed by a fixed idea which bars him from any freedom of thought: if he is any of these poor creatures, we say, let him be given a good pint of amber-flavored chocolate... and marvels will be performed.
~Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.
~Truman Capote

Money may talk, but chocolate sings.
~Author Unknown

We dare not trust our wit for making our house pleasant to our friend, so we buy ice cream.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

God gave the angels wings, and he gave humans chocolate.
~Author Unknown

All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!
~Charles Schulz

As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate.
~Sandra Boynton

You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.
~Earl Wilson

Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed. Chocolate makes it worthwhile.
~Author Unknown

My favorite thing in the world is a box of fine European chocolates which is, for sure, better than sex.
~Alicia Silverstone

Once in a young lifetime one should be allowed to have as much sweetness as one can possibly want and hold.
~Judith Olney

Chocolate is an antidepressant, which is especially useful as you start to gain weight.
~Jason Love

Scoops of mint ice cream with chips of chocolate cows.
~Jim Bishop, "On the English Countryside," NY Journal-American, 28 September 1957, quoted in Simpson's Contemporary Quotations compiled by James B. Simpson

There's nothing wrong with me a little ice cream won't fix.
~Author Unknown

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
~Author Unknown

Everyone has a price - mine is chocolate.
~Author Unknown

A little chocolate is like a love affair - an occasional sweet release that lightens the spirit. A lot of chocolate is like marriage - it seems so good at first but before you know it you've got chunky hips and a waddle-walk.
~Linda Solegato

Ideas should be clear and chocolate thick. Las cosas claras y el chocolate espeso.
~Spanish Proverb

If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you. But you have no chocolate! I think of that again and again! My dear, how will you ever manage?
~Marquise de Sévigné

I don't cry over spilt milk, but a fallen scoop of ice cream is enough to ruin my whole day.
~Terri Guillemets

Unless your name ends in Baskin or Robbins, I really can't fit you into my schedule right now.
~Uniek Swain

After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of that one. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.
~Mel Gibson, about what women want

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produced some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
~Author Unknown

A dessert without cheese is like a beautiful woman with only one eye.
~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin