Talking About Salary To Friends.
We can tell our friends where we live, how much screen time we get and what our Spotify Wrapped looks like but we can’t tell them our salaries.
We can tell our friends almost everything who we’re dating, if we’re going to therapy, if we’re on our third founder era and how bad of a 1AM scroll we have. We can tell our friends where we live, what we listen to and what we truly think in our group chats.
However, as soon as we ask our friends how much they earn, the atmosphere changes. People become awkward, people need to top up their drinks and people say things like ‘Oh it’s fine!’ and the conversation quickly changes.
In 2026, we’ve pretty much done away with every single social embarrassment except for the one thing salary.
Despite this, almost everyone has a quiet curiosity about it. Are we getting paid fairly? Are our friends earning double what we do for doing the same thing? Did our college friend really get that offer? Are we really behind at 27?
We look it up online, ask in anonymous forums and look at their ‘day in my life’ videos. We’ll trust a stranger who has posted about being transparent about their salary than we would our best friend of 10 years. Everyone has a curiosity about it but it’s rarely discussed.
As soon as numbers are mentioned, it feels like you’re competing against each other. Your brain will automatically compare the numbers even if you tell yourself it’s silly.
A Reflection Of Self Worth
For a generation who have been brought up in a hustling society and personal branding culture, salary can feel like a reflection of how good of a person we are. It feels like we’re giving them our report card.
A Change In The Friendship
If your friend earns a lot more and suddenly feel distant, or if you earn more and they feel awkward around you, many of us would prefer to keep things quiet.
We’ve been brought up to keep it quiet. Many families especially in India don’t talk about money. Many of us were told not to tell anyone how much we were earning. In America, it’s common to be told it’s rude to ask. We got into the habit.
Our culture is based around keeping it quiet. In India it can be extremely difficult to compare how much someone is earning as their CTC package can include so many factors such as bonuses, stock options, variable pay and benefits. In America, packages can consist of so many factors that it’s difficult to compare. Overall, we wouldn’t be able to compare.
If no one is talking about it, it’s difficult to know if we’re being underpaid, if asking for a raise would be fair and if we’re getting a good deal. This leads to us negotiating in the dark which can lead to us asking for less than we deserve.
It can affect our mental health. Assuming everyone is doing better can cause us to feel anxious. In reality, many of our friends are dealing with rent, loans, family issues and uncertain contracts. Keeping it quiet can make our anxieties feel lonely.
Why Gen Z Are Starting To Change.
We are becoming more open about discussing money than old generations. Salary breakdowns in creator videos, comparing offers in group chats with trusted friends and even talking about student loans, EMIs, side hustles and rent more openly than our parents.
We’re doing this because we need to. Everything is expensive and our careers can be unpredictable. We don’t feel like we can rely on ‘hard work pays off’. We’ve realised knowledge is power and we haven’t been protected by keeping it quiet we’ve just been kept in the dark.
Discussing money is probably the most personal issue. We often associate money with feeling safe, proud, a connection to our family and fear.
– Aira 🌿
