Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded - accordion-style - back to full stature, without any lasting side effect.
Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive.
Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.
By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series.
October is not only a beautiful month but marks the precious yet fleeting overlap of hockey, baseball, basketball, and football.
A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another.
Half the game is mental; the other half is being mental.
How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?
Some people skate to the puck. I skate to where the puck is going to be.
Ice hockey players can walk on water.
Hockey players have fire in their hearts and ice in their veins.
Hockey is murder on ice.
Street hockey is great for kids. It's energetic, competitive, and skilful. And best of all it keeps them off the street.
My other car is a Zamboni.
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records.
Don't go through life without goals.
Hockey is figure skating in a war zone.
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing... everything else is just figure skating.
Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns.
Four out of five dentists surveyed recommended playing hockey.
Give blood. Play hockey.
All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.
My goal is to deny yours.
When Hell freezes over, I'll play hockey there too.
Black people dominate sports in the United States - 20 percent of the population and 90 percent of the Final Four. We own this shit. Basketball, baseball, football, golf, tennis, and as soon as they make a heated hockey rink we'll take that shit too.
Red ice sells hockey tickets.
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital.